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so [05 Dec 2004|07:19pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

just in case you were wondering, yes i did die

1 comment

so bored with life in general [17 Nov 2004|03:21pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Post a memory of me in the comments. It can be anything you want.
Then post this to your journal and see what people remember of you.

7 comment

yeah [11 Nov 2004|06:12pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Is it really suicide, if you've stopped living a long time ago?

comment

i feel really shitty [08 Nov 2004|04:52pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

I need to get back in shape, fence mroe
college essays

and i need to make up to myself morally
especially about the whole BB situation = /

i will

i promise

2 comment

You can laugh, its fine [06 Nov 2004|03:40am]
I sit here freezing inside, I have no remorse, I am all regret...I really would love to take my own life. I am the keeper of the night and I watch you sleep and make sure you are ok, and everything is right when u awake. I wont hurt you. And I cannot be hurt, a man with no heart, can never be wounded. Time spins so slow, maybe it should stop. There is ultimately nothing but ourselves, and we are all alone. I love drugs, but they make me forget...should I really forget?...should I really believe this is happening to me..should I hope?

For now I will watch you in silence, I am always here, and we are always alone, in fact their is no "we"...
There is only now
And tommorrow
My ill heart plagues my restless nights, and haunts my dreams with pipelines into places demons do not look...
2 comment

Long sighs and cigarettesss [06 Nov 2004|03:33am]
[ mood | crushed ]

Yesterday...
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it seems as though they're here II stay
Oh I believe in yesterday
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used II be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh yesterday came suddenly
Why she had II go, I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said something wrong now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday...
Love was such an easy game II play
Now I need a place II hide away
Oh I believe in yesterday
I believe in yesterday
Oh I... had II go I don't know
She would not say
I said something wrong
How I long for yesterday
Yesterday...
Love was such an easy game II play
Now I need a place II hide away
Oh I believe in yesterday
I believe in yester...day
Oh yesterday was far away
And I know I can't turn back
'Cause yesterday is gone.

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I want to break your face [06 Nov 2004|01:21am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I saved people today, first good deed of my life down, a few more to go, I need a deaf gf, I like this girl Cori, not like , like like, shes cute I guess, havnt spoken to her much, but shes genuinely sweet...nvm, I hate girls...yeah ben

too many girls and its ok, cause I pretty much hate every goddam fucking one of them

need to get back into shape

lately, ive been wanting to fuckin break your face, I think you know who you are. I want to break it into about four different sections than drag you through fucking newark...but dont worry...cause I'll be ok

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IM NOT DROWNING FAST ENOUGH [28 Oct 2004|08:09pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]

He seemed impressed by the way you came in.
"Tell us a story
I know you're not boring"

I was afraid that you would not insist.
"You sound so sleepy
just take this, now leave me"

I said please don't slow me down
If I'm going too fast
You're in a strange part of our town...

Yeah, the night's not over
You're not trying hard enough,
Our lives are changing lanes
You ran me off the road,
The wait is over
I'm now taking over,
You're no longer laughing
I'm not drowning fast enough.

Now every time that I look at myself
"I thought I told you
this world is not for you"

The room is on fire as she's fixing her hair
"you sound so angry
just calm down, you found me"

I said please don't slow me down
If I'm going too fast
You're in a strange part of our town...

Yeah, the night's not over
You're not trying hard enough,
Our lives are changing lanes
You ran me off the road,
The wait is over
I'm now taking over,
You're no longer laughing
I'm not drowning fast enough.

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I so deserved it.. [25 Oct 2004|09:50pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]

Wow, thanks for everyone's support after the accident, it wasnt my fault they said..but you know Karma and such...I really want to take out the administration...just like the whole foundation...not too cliche' of a teenage rebel...except yeah.... I wish I was dead...seriously lol..

I need to get better and burn off this tummy
And smoke more
And fence ALOT MORE
and finish my college essays
AND FENCE ALOT MORE
SKJHASDKFJDSK
AHHHH
I lost myself
I love painkillers
the pain isnt tolerable though

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YEah [23 Oct 2004|01:28pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I was in a massive car accident yesterday and I'm typing with my right hand alone cause I severed a nerve in my neck or shoulder which controls my hand, its sort of paralyzed, my neck is killing me and is i na brace. my back still hurts, I almost died. The car is jsut fucked..well after 3 trees and a telephone pole it should be. I feel like dying, the meds dont work...and i have tons of work...I wanna die

3 comment

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